Linda's birthday party, 4th July

Linda's birthday party, delayed by a month so that her family in Qatar could be there, was a great success. It was lovely meeting many of her long time friends and their partners. The photos are on the web album and there is a link on top right hand side of the weblog.

Linda wasn't eating on the day, just drinking water sadly. She was being careful after her 24 hour illness the day before. However, she looked and felt much better.

That night, Linda and Peter had four visitors. I'd taken over the second bedroom where her son Paul and his wife Mel usually sleep when they stay, so they went off to a friend's party and to a hotel for the night, although I don't know if Mel was feeling up to partying. She'd not long flown over from Qatar and was dealing with two young ones and settling back into a house in Kent.

Additionally, Mel's mother Carol - the children's other grandmother - and George (4) and Alex (nearly six months) were also staying. It was happy family chaos, which suits me just fine. But I kept out of the way changing nappies, since both grandmothers were there!

Heatwave in West Sussex

Well, who 'd have thought after a week in Florida that I'd be feeling the heat in Sussex! But yes, it's hot, and the shops have sold out of electric fans. It's the humidity really. Very hot overnight.

After a nice relaxing lunch at Cheryl's place, we watched the DVD that JoAnn prepared of Shirley and I greeting each other. What a wonderful introduction Kathryn gave. And I bet if there had been flies around, Shirley would have swallowed a dozen, she was so amazed.

At 4pm it was off to the airport, where I got into trouble for having my lipstick loose in my bag, and not in the transparent container! The flight to Atlanta was packed since the previous flight had been cancelled, but it was only one hour. Just over two hours later I was on the plane to London. I didn't think Delta was up to Qantas standard, and no upgrade this time, but did I sleep! Cheryl had given me a magic pill and it worked.

I passed through customs at Heathrow with as much ease as I had in Los Angeles, and just managed to catch the National Express coach to Gatwick where Linda (maiden name Tucker) and Peter picked me up right on time. John and I met Linda and Peter for the first time last year. Like Shirley, Olivia and Ray, Linda is my second cousin. Ray (Bayford) was the only cousin I'd heard of pre Internet.

We had a lovely chat catching up (between snoozes) and planned our Friday, but these plans were thrown into disarray because Linda had been up all night with some sort of bug that she probably caught from one of her grandchildren currently visiting from Qatar with their parents. She isn't at all well.

So I went into town by myself to change some US$$ into pounds, and found myself with English and Australian coins all mixed up in my coin purse. Most embarrassing. Unlike last year, I found the old part of Horsham and went to the museum. Horsham is a historic market town and was a base for the redcoats around the 1790s when life was so tough for those tempted to shoplift or pick pockets.

Tomorrow I shall see the five grandchildren, who include a new addition - six month old Alex who was born in Qatar where his dad Paul is working for Shell in HR.

We are all hoping that Linda (who I discovered just over two years ago) is feeling better tomorrow.

So sad to leave

Today I say my goodbyes to my extended family in the deep south, and head for the UK via Atlanta. I'm all packed, just waiting for Elizabeth to pick me up. We will go to the church offices to say goodbye to JoAnn and Debra who organised the trip for me, and pick up a copy of the video of the big event.

Then it is to Cheryl's for a final lunch with as many of the family who are not at work, see Zoe who has become a new friend, and then to the airport.

Yesterday we went to Seaside, principally to see Trisha's gallery - check out the photos in the album - and to take photos of this resort area where many better off residents of land-locked states have second homes. There were many holiday makers around, riding bikes and trikes.

Later we went to Shirley's house for a roast dinner. There were so many cousins there that we had TWO dining rooms set up. Shirley's house is right on a lake (part of the Bay actually). She has her wedding dress (from 1951) set up on a dressmaker's model in her bedroom, a nice idea - never thought of that!

As you can probably tell from my journal and the photos, I've had an absolutely wonderful time here in Panama City - what a wonderful family. We seemed to have clicked immediately - all except young Isabella who after a week is still sizing me up. But at three, that's her prerogative. At least she knows who I am.

I shall be so sad to leave. I do hope I see them again one day, maybe in the UK, maybe here, and you never know, we may even persuade one or more to take the long journey across the Pacific and show them some of the delights of Sydney.

Barbecues, church and ladies who lunch

After the emotion of Friday night, everyone was pleased that Saturday's activities didn't start till 4pm. A large marquee had been set up on a cleared area beside the church for an informal buffet tea - it was called a barbecue, but not in the sense that we know it. It was a great opportunity to sit and chat to Shirley and circulate and meet lots of folks. I was constantly being stopped and told how emotional people felt when Shirley was introduced to me, and how pleased they were that I'd come over.

Sunday morning was church. I'd felt no pressure at all to go - quite the contrary - but I'm so glad I did, even if it was "strange". But strange in a lovely way - with the congregation really joyous - it sure isn't boring. I didn't feel I had to conform at all, I was just made very welcome. I even knew one of the choruses they sang. The service lasted for three and a half hours, although that isn't normal. There were people in town from all over the United States, plus Trinidad and Kenya. After church there was a lunch for the family and many people who'd come from other places, followed by family photos taken by a professional photographer to mark the occasion.

Today four generations of women went to lunch at a seafood restaurant overlooking the sugarwhite sands of the Bay - Shirley, her three daughters, a granddaughter (Elizabeth) and her young Isabella. It was extremely humid today - 90 degrees but it felt like 95% humidity.

After lunch, the plan was to go back to a boutique where I had my eye on a nice shirt last Thursday, but not before I'd dipped my toes in the water. It was beautifully warm - 85 degrees they said.

So by the time I went shopping, I was wet (where do those waves come from, and full of sand. I then not only bought the shirt but also three other items of clothing. The variety is amazing, and it is not expensive. Shirley and her daughters have excellent dress sense so I was in good hands.

I am finding I need at least two or three changes of clothing per day, it is so humid. Fortunately the Inn has a guest laundry.

At 6.30 I was picked up and taken to Cheryl's house for a family tea, where I was not the only guest. Enoch, a pastor from Kenya was also there. He told us that there was a man in Kenya who had 68 wives, and was going to take a 69th, but discovered it was his own daughter, so he gave up accumulating wives at that stage. We reckon he should have been well satisfied by then!

Elizabeth grabbed my camera and took lots of photos, since I was too busy talking. Here is a photo of Cheryl's house. I am intrigued by the different architecture.

The Jack in the Box

Well, what a night! These southerners sure know how to put on a show! And keep a secret, even if they have to ask their friends for forgiveness for telling fibs. I was Elizabeth (my middle name), a friend of Zoe's daughter in the UK for the night - people were so friendly and wanting an introduction. I even had to pretend to be unsociable for a couple of hours.

I should explain to my Oz and UK readers that the purpose of the evening was to celebrate the 40 years ministry of "Apostle and Miz Shirley" as they are known to this congregation in Panama City.

Whilst the early part of the evening focussed on the Apostle's ministry and the impact the Apostle had on the many many he'd sent out to minister in other parts of Florida and other states, the second half looked at their family life through a variety of skits, songs etc.

Who ever said that Americans don't have a sense of humour? These southerners sure can laugh at themselves. There was a very funny video where Cheryl starred as her mother getting her exercise going to the shops. It was full of alusions to things that had apparently happened to Shirley because the audience was cracking up with laughter.

Apparently Shirley had arrived in the US with her wedding gown under one arm and her Frank Sinatra records under the other, so her grandson Chad did a Frank number taking off his grandfather's courtship of Shirley.

What talent that family has.! The three daughters - Donna, Cheryl and Katherine - did a great number, and grand-daughter Erin did a solo backed by the choir. There were many other musical items and a great solo tap dance in the manner of Riverdance. All in all, it was a very enjoyable evening, even for one who isn't part of the scene. And Zoe was a joy to share it with. We were towards the back of the room, whilst the immediate Ball family were of course in the front row.

And then the moment I (and the junior members of the family) had been waiting for. Katherine's husband made a moving speech and a presentation to Apostle Ball, then it was Shirley's turn.

They brought out this huge box, then Katherine set the scene, recalling Shirley's dedication to her immediate and extended church family, and then stated that it was ironic how much she gave, when she didn't have any family of her own that she knew of. She related how an email had arrived from Australia and that began a correspondence and exchange of photos that brought back memories of her mother's childhood. She told Shirley that the box contained a scrapbook about her family that Margaret had put together.

By this time, Shirley had opened the box and seen the scrapbook and her face was a picture of emotion. Katherine then announced that they thought that it might be even better if Margaret could be here in person, and in actual fact she was in the audience! By this time, Cheryl's husband Steve was escorting me down the aisle and up on to the stage.

You've all seen the television shows, and of course it was just like that. I was already teary whilst Shirley was looking at the scrapbook. So she was just amazed when I walked up on stage. She grabbed my hands and looked at me, and then there were big bear hugs. Apostle Ball was very moved, he knew exactly what it meant to Shirley. And of course the family was very excited, they'd been looking forward to this moment. She is a well loved grandmother and mother.

I was able to tell her publicly that her great aunts back in England had really grieved when they'd lost touch with her, and never forgot her. Our contemporary Ray - our only second cousin still in the UK - was not born until 1943, the year after Shirley had disappeared from their lives, but he had heard all about her.

That was pretty much the end of the evening, except for the Apostle's final word(s), so we were all tired. But today's the beginning of getting to know each other and go through the stories and what happened to all the aunts, so I'm looking forward to that. After the event I gave Shirley a couple more presents - a small photo album and a digital photo frame with a thumb drive full of photos, so she and the family can share them around.

So all in all a great day.

Meeting Shirley's family

Yesterday Cheryl introduced me to three generations ofShirley's family over a seafood lunch on one of the many bays in Panama City. Cheryl is the second of four - three girls (the others are Donna and Katherine) and their young brother Mark still in his forties. Mark is much quieter and not as gregarious as his sisters - the poor fellow is well and truly outnumbered! He is a script writer and spent a number of years in Los Angeles, but is now back in Panama City. Katherine lives in Nashville, Tennessee. I forgot to ask her if she knows our Nicole and our Keith.

Then there was Elizabeth, Cheryl's 29 year old daughter) who is due to give birth next month to a second girl, and her three year old Isabella who is just as quiet as our namesake at the computer club (Hazel and Deb's young grand-daughter), but I suspect she will thaw out when she gets used to me. Later, Kathryn's daughter Erin turned up.

Now I noticed there are good genes in Shirley's family - very pretty women all of them - and amazingly warm. Listening to their stories of family life, I began to get a real picture of just what my visit means to them, and what it will mean to Shirley. I can't wait till tonight, and neither can they.

I learned that for whatever reason, Shirley's father - an intensely private man - cut off Shirley's relationship with her mother's family the moment her mother died. On the day of the funeral in 1942 when Shirley was 12, she was not told of her mother's death, but taken out for the day by her grandmother. She was told eventually and became very close to her grandmother whilse her father was elsewhere managing wealthy men's English estates.

So when I made contact, continued the research and sent her photos, it was a very emotional turning point for Shirley. She and her daughters had tried without much success to undertake research when they'd been to London, but didn't have enough information to make the initial breakthrough.

So it seems that I have been the key to opening up her mother's family for her, and it means so much to the family that I was able to tell them that Shirley and her deceased mother Kathleen were very much missed by all the aunts, who simply didn't know where she was. My sister is also a Kathleen, and dad said she was named after cousin Kathleen, whilst mum always said she was named for a song they liked - I'll take you home again, Kathleen!

Of course families never turn out to be as "perfect or normal" as our older generations would have us believe, but that's life isn't it. I've found birth records of further relatives who we may never be able to track down, it was all so long ago, and the names were so common. All I have is my dad's fragmented memories of Shirley's grandmother's other children being sent to Canada because their mother couldn't look after them.

On to more mundane things. I am still having trouble with jet lag. Yesterday I woke up at 3 am after four hours sleep, so went for a walk at 6, knowing it was the only cool time of the day (temperatures are constantly in the 90s), then another walk after breakfast to see the church, which is only 10 minutes walk from here.

I later went to the Mall to purchase a sun hat. The mall seemed strange because there was no supermarket, paper shop or chemist (drugstore). They are separate here. Panama City has no public transport - no trains, no buses as we know them. Even poor people rely on cars. Of course petrol (gasoline) is much cheaper here. The terrain is perfectly flat, only three feet above sea level, the soil seems very poor - sandy of course - and the water table is at 10 inches! Incomes are low, although vary widely.

After a late lunch, I asked the younger generation - Elizabeth and Erin - to help me purchase an iPod Nano, which I duly did. After a rest, I was collected by Zoe, a family friend and taken down to a nice shopping centre where we window shopped, looking at bookstores and clothes. Zoe was very easy to talk to, into literature and historyand psychology. We had intended going for a meal, but neither of us was hungry! She took me to her house to collect an electric jug (I'd been boiling my water for tea in the coffee percolator), and we stealthily drove past Shirley's place for a look, in the dark of night. If only she'd known! Cheryl is keeping away from her mother at the moment - she reckons she couldn't keep the grin off her face.

My next tale will be about my role as the Jack in the Box, and Shirley's reaction.....

It's hot in Panama City, FL

Here I am in Panama City, population about 110,000 Cheryl tells me. (Cheryl is Shirley's middle daughter who arranged all this). This morning, after nearly missing the connecting flight (it was 50 minutes earlier, vastly different terminal than on my ticket), I arrived to a welcoming party of four - Cheryl, her daughter Elizabeth and the cup) and the two church workers I've been dealing with - JoAnne and Debra. Photos were taken, then Cheryl delivered me to the Hilton Garden Inn.

I made some tea (they had delivered a tea pot) and ate some grapes from the huge basket of fruit, cheese and biscuits they'd packaged up for me and crashed till 5 pm. This is getting ridiculous - no sleep at night, sleep all day. I have to try and sleep tonight - fortunately I feel somewhat tired.

Cheryl collected me for tea prior to her rehearsal at the church and we exchanged family stories and I showed her a locket with photos of two of her great great grandparents - the Reeds of Southampton.

I managed to purchase the electronic gift I had in mind for Shirley, because the shops are open till 9 pm every night. The stores are made for cars - great distances between the shops with car parks surrounding them. Otherwise, Panama City reminds me of a well laid out regional city like Dubbo. Of course I haven't seen much of it yet.

Cheryl is dribbling information to members of her family - her Nashville based sister and family arrive tomorrow and we will join them for a seafood lunch by the beach. Everyone in the family will know by Friday except Shirley and her husband.

So off to bed right now and try to sleep. Whilst I was having tea with Cheryl at a Mexican restaurant, John was running my one hour computer class in Beginners 2 in XP. Poor fellow - he had to run for two weeks prior to this whilst I had the flu. Luckily I'm over the flu and didn't get questioned at immigration about my froggy voice.

Till next time! Margaret